Take the 'Bully' by its horns!

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We all, at some point in life, have been put down by a 'Bully'. Be it the annoying senior in school/college, an impolite cashier at the department store, the rude boss/team member, a dominating better half, a bossy friend or nosy relatives. The list could go on.

There are all kinds of bullies one may encounter in a lifetime but the intent of all remains the same. Robbing you of your self-confidence and positivity. I personally feel it's their way of seeking attention, covering up their own insecurities or venting out frustration on those who appear mellow or easy targets.

A couple of characteristics that I often notice in serial bullies:

• Deriving pure sadistic pleasures (this one had to top my list)
• Exploiting the trust of an individual for personal gain
• Changing colours like a chameleon to make up for anything that fits their needs 
• Reacting to criticism with denial and retaliation
• Paying heed and making an issue of trivial matters.
• Hitting someone on their weak point or disability with harsh remarks/gestures
• Searching for a new target when the current one burns out
• Taking advantage of someone's helplessness
• Making others conscious - intentionally
• Interfering in someone else's business and leaving a negative impact

Please feel free to add to my list if you think I have missed out on any other personality trait of a Bully. Am sure it'll help me in future.

Now that you know and have identified the victimiser a.k.a bully, it's on you whether you choose to deal with it or move away. I certainly believe, even if you opt for the latter, it's always good to give it back with a punch (not literally) - without stooping down and lowering your level of dignity. You not only would make the bully think twice before behaving badly with someone else but also set an example for others with your confidence.

There is no sure-shot formula to deal with a bully. It totally depends on your circumstance and the nature of the bully. After experiencing similar situations myself and seeing others around me combating bullies as well, these could be a couple of possible ways:

• Give goodness a chance: Before you awaken the devil inside you, try to resolve matters politely to see if there are winds of change.  
• The cold shoulder: Remain unaffected of how a bully behaves with you - even if good.
• Make them taste their own medicine: Give it back in the same way as they treat you.
• One is to many ratio: It's good to seek help. Form a group and strategise well before you attack.
• Go for the slow kill: Keep them guessing about yourself with a strange behavior, absurd conversations or more. Wait until you reach the blockbuster day and show what was awaiting them.
• Move away but not forever: So, you've made up your mind and want to keep distance. Make sure your sacrifice/compromise doesn't go waste. If apology from the Bully is a far-fetched dream, try to create a scenario where they're at least sorry for their behaviour. And that's how they'll always remember you.   

Most times it's our helplessness that stops us from fighting/answering back when we are Bullied. It's when we overcome our fears, especially when we're not wrong, we truly can take on any demotivating character that comes our way.

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Extra banter: One of my favourite movies remains 'The Devil Wears Prada'. The way it shows how Andy (Anne Hathway) puts up with the bizarre and humiliating behaviour of her boss Miranda (Meryl Streep). To add to her misery, her gossipy and fashion-conscious coworkers make her feel like an alien amongst them.

Eventually, she evolves from a naive and unconfident victim to a glam-diva who takes all the bullies that come in her way - head on!

Another thing that I relate to Andy with in this movie - she's a writer too! ;)